Spaces Between
by KuroNeko114
Summary: There exists these spaces between us... A PoT Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I wish I owned them, but alas they are not mine.

A/N: I apologise in advance if this story stinks. I was high on cough medicine when I wrote it and a tad depressed. It is by all means not a tragic story but I dunno if it's good also. Well, whoever reads this please give me your most honest opinion, I won't die if you give me a bad review. Hehehehe..

And im sorry if i made one the main characters a bit OOC.

Anyway, I actually have to finish up my other story in the Bleach and Inuyasha fandom but thoughts stray and this story just popped up in my head and I had to write it before it went away. The pairings are fairly obvious even if I don't mention who the main characters are. Well, i guess, ENJOY! Heh heh...

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**Spaces between** by KuroNeko114

Most people assume that the space between us was vast. Others choose to believe that there was no space between us.

I believed in the first.

Although on the outside it may seem to everyone that we know each other better than anyone else without having to say so many words, I know that there are parts of you that even I am not privy too, and of course there are parts of me too that you nor anyone else knows about. And yet, there is a yearning in my heart, for you to know me, everything about me. Unfortunately for us, the spaces between are hard to fill.

We've been friends since first year. I was also convinced that back then the two of us were as different as apples and oranges. I was quiet, serious and by the book. **You** on the other hand, you were mysterious, friendly and out-going. The only thing we had in common was our love of tennis. But somehow you managed to create spaces between us in that area as well. I knew that you were hiding behind the smiles that you so freely share with everyone, even me.

At first, it didn't hurt. I hid behind my stoic demeanour, seeming to be uncaring about anything and everything else except to be the best. I worked hard to be where I am, but you breeze through most that you do.

It didn't hurt at first because I never saw you as anyone other than a means to get where I wanted to be. It was obvious that you were much, much better at tennis than you let on. I needed you on the team with me, to make my dream of winning the nationals become a reality.

It didn't hurt at first because the spaces between us clouded me from seeing the real you and seeing that other than amazing tennis skills, there was someone there who was trying the bridge the very space that kept us apart, no matter how close we seemed to be on the outside.

I noticed too late.

You were trying, ever since we were in first year, to diminish the spaces between us. I couldn't see, but actually _I didn't want to see_. When I finally noticed the subtle differences in the ways that you seem to acknowledge me or how you would act when you were around me and the others. I knew, I _knew_ without you saying or telling me. Something had changed, and I couldn't accept that change. I wasn't ready, and on that one spring day, when you came up to me on the rooftop to finally let me know of said change, I stopped you. I ended it before it began and instead of doing all the things I expected you to do. You made it clear to me that the spaces between us were there and you also made it perfectly clear that if ever they were to be closed, that it would have to start with _me_.

Now, every time I see you smile, it hurts. _It hurts_, because it makes me even more aware of the spaces between us, something that only we could see before but has slowly become known to everyone as well. It hurts, because I miss you. _It hurts_ because even with the space between us, there was always something there only for us to see and touch. And now, there is nothing.

Fortunately, I know how to fix things, to lessen or finally get rid of this alien thing that was happening between us. I know what needs to be done. _Unfortunately_, it is easier said than done. Too much time has passed between us. The only time I see you now is during practice and the last time we were alone together was on the rooftop, when you tried to confess your feelings to me, when I turned you away. I could have approached you sooner, unfortunately being raised the way I was, pride held me back.

I had made my choice back then and I _should_ live with it whatever the consequences. But the hurting won't cease, my head hurts because I can't think of anything else other than you, my body hurts because when I finally realised the ludicrousness of my decision back then, I couldn't sleep without dreaming about you. About your smile, your _real_ smile, about your little quirks, your little actions, how you play tennis, how you smell, how you taste – your weird tastes, how you look when you cry. The dreams baffle me because I have only witnessed a few of those actions and the rest are only that, in dreams. Secretly, I liked the dreams where I am touching you and you me. And my heart hurts the most because... because it misses you...

This has to stop. I _need_ to make this stop.

Tomorrow... This ends **tomorrow**.

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I wasn't sure if you were even going to show up. I left a note in your locker to meet me on the rooftop after practice. The same rooftop where you tried to confess to me, where I turned you away even before you said anything. Looking back, I realise how irrational I was. And in a term Kikumaru would so crudely put, a _total jerk_.

I heard the roof door open behind me but I did not turn around. I did not need to, I knew it was you. From the lack of sound from your footsteps I knew you were hesitating to approach me. Just when I was about to turn around to face you, I heard you –more like felt you – move towards me albeit very slowly. From the corner of my eye I saw you lean against the railing, much like the time before I left for Germany to rehabilitate. Our statures are about the same but the situation certainly wasn't. We were not going to be discussing my health or how I would be strong enough to face whomever in tennis.

I knew you were waiting for me to say something, and I was waiting for myself to get a grip and find the right words to say. I really didn't want to say anything to make things worse between us. I know that it won't become instantaneously _great_ but I am hoping that it would be _better_, at least.

After what seemed like hours but in truth only a few minutes, I finally turn to fully face you. I nearly gasped at the sight of you. You still looked the same, but there was something different. I never noticed how your hair swept across your face whenever the wind blew or how the sun's rays made you hair shine like a halo, creating this illusion, as if you were an angel. _My angel_, I thought with hope suddenly swelling in my chest.

You weren't smiling this time and when you finally turned to look at me, still you did not quirk up your lips to give me that signature look that you gave everyone else. But I knew that deep down I would be more disappointed if you did. I wanted a _real_ smile, one only for me. And your eyes were open, showing for all the world to see how you were feeling at that exact moment even if it was just me there. Sadness, fear and heartache, but I could see something else. Something that felt like a strong yearning quite similar to what I was feeling. It was right then that I _knew_ what I had to say even if it was the most simple and obvious thing any person could say in this situation.

"I miss you"

You looked startled, but only for a moment. You started as if you wanted to say something but I cut you off.

"_I miss you_," I say again with more conviction. "I miss you in the mornings because when I turn at the corner at the end of my street, you aren't there waiting for me to walk to school together and to wish me good morning."

"I miss you during lunch breaks because you are not waiting for me outside the lunchroom so that we could eat together."

"I miss you the most during practice because there is an empty space beside me where you used to be, talking or simply teasing the other members or letting me know what you thought of the matches going on or what you thought of Inui's latest concoctions that send people to an early grave but are just simple refreshments to you."

I couldn't stop the words from flowing out of mouth. It was long overdue anyway.

"I especially miss you at night, simply because you never call me to talk about trivial stuff anymore. Because your voice was not the last thing I hear before I go to sleep", at this point I noticed that during my confession I had unconsciously stepped closer towards you and am now only an arm's length away.

"I miss you... I miss you so very much that my heartaches every time I look or think about you", I am so close now that I have to look down at you. Your eyes are shining with unshed tears and your lower lip is quivering, but still you remain silent. As if you were waiting for something else, expecting to hear me say more. I completely understand. I had hurt you, so my words at this point were not enough.

"Please forgive me... Back then, I gave up before trying. I was afraid of the consequences without even knowing what the consequences were", I knew I was begging but he deserved to hear this from me. And at this point, I would do anything to see him smile at me again. I would do _anything_ for him to be with me.

"I know you deserve much, _much_ better than what I had done to you. You deserve someone _so_ much better than me, someone who won't hurt you or make you sad. And I know that what I am asking of you is selfish on my part and unreasonable after what I had done but..." I trailed off and by now your mouth is agape and the tears that you were trying so hard to hold in were trailing down your cheeks.

Before I could finish where I left off, it was your turn to cut me off. It was the first time in months that I have heard your voice directed solely at _me_ and it was so much sweeter now than ever before. Because it meant that you are allowing me this first step to close the space between us.

"What are you asking of me, exactly?" you ask in a whisper, but I heard you as clear as day. You had stopped crying but the evidence was still on your face, you didn't bother to wipe it off. The something in your eyes was much clearer now and I know the same thing was reflected in my eyes as well.

You are waiting now, waiting for my answer. And so I give you one, my final confession. The final piece of me that I have kept from you ever since I realised that things would change between us even though I refused to accept it. I knew that it could be wishful thinking on my part, you _could_ reject me. But I was tired of being afraid. And so, determined, I looked at you with the eyes of a man with nothing left to lose and bared my soul.

"I love you", I confessed never once looking away from you.

And then, there were no more words.

You launched yourself at me right after my confession and enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug. Your arms wrapped around me, as if you didn't want to let me go. Your tears were flowing stronger now with no sign of stopping and it was creating a wet spot on my uniform shirt.

I held you to me like a man dying, unbeknownst to me I too was crying. But it wasn't tears of sorrow, they were tears of joy. We held each other for quite some time, just soaking up the moment. And when finally your tears had been reduced to sniffles, your hold on me lessened and you pushed back a little but not enough to let me go, just enough to gaze up at my face.

Now I was the one waiting, waiting for you to say something, _anything_. And then the one thing that I had been waiting for all this time, finally happened.

You smiled at me.

And not one of those fake smiles you usually give. A _real_ smile, one only meant for me. I could not help but gently cup your tear stained face and lean down to seal that smile with my lips. You returned the kiss just as gently and with a hint of uncertainty but that disappeared when I kissed you with much more vigour and then your arms were around me again holding me close.

When finally I slowly pulled away from you, ending the sweet kiss with a small lick to your lips, I look down at you sporting a gentle smile of my own only for you to see. I wipe off the tears from your face with my thumbs and gently caressed your cheek. And then you asked me something that made me do the one thing I rarely ever do in the presence of others.

I laughed.

"Saa, what took you so long?" with that smile on your face that I would never get tired of seeing. And I knew, without a doubt that from this moment on there would be no more spaces between us.

**The End**


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